When you dont get what you want

There are times when what you want the most does not happen and you detach yourself from everything possible, you simply want to be left alone because your nowhere close to what you actually want.Support and reassurances help to a little extent,but the void which you desperately wish to fill is still empty and makes no progress whatsoever .You end up blaming yourself for the things that are in the course of action in spite of knowing that your to helpless to do anything.hopelessness,frustration,anger,solitude,irritation and anything negative you name it and its on the list are the only things that walk alongside you. you hate their presence but you also know that their the only things that are left to remind you of what you want the most.Everything else seems so trivial,mindless and narrow when your constantly reminded of that , you want to put it aside but the thought of it effortlessly creeps back into you.it portrays yourself as a loser which you simply detest to accept.life becomes more melodramatic,leading to embarrassments.now no amount of venting helps and all you have to do is accept things the way they are and carry on with life carrying the heavy burden which could sink you from inside.

Long time!

Its been ages since i posted something

off late there are a lot of brain storming sessions going on inside my head and each idea is waiting to be put up only the right words dont aid in the process

the words would help am sure

and i would come with many as well

till then am off to think

love all!{ except the ones you hate;)}

TURN OFFS

Now there is this blank in ur orkut profile which asks you to mention your turn offs trust me i have so much that i used all the tiny space which orkut provided me cramming it with things that i despise ,things i loathe,things that just tick me in short things that turn me off and orkut has no more of it left so here i am.Before i go any further i would like to mention this one is going to be a little negative and read on if you can stand by the things which pisses me off....

#BACK BITING:-This is something which you, me or everyone has faced.if there is something which someone has a problem about its always better to confront to the person concerened instead of making a big deal about it going around and bitching stuff .I dont understand what kind of pleasure or fulfillment people beget from back biting to me those who indulge in it are a whole bunch of cowards and losers so just BUZZ OFF!!!

#DOMINATING:-This is a trait i come across so often although personally i have not experienced it much. well, at times my brother dominates me but thats what these silly older siblings do,they just claim it to be some kind of birth right!!otherwise i cant stand if there is domination among friends or most of all a commitment because there needs to be a equal amount expression from both sides and not just one side if it goes on then there would come a time when the submissive person could rage up beyond imagination and create a havoc to the relationship itself!certainly bad!!

#SMOKING:- I simply detest it for the very fact it ruins your health.its your body something that you have all rights to say "its mine".if you have that right then you have the responsibility of taking good care of it.smoking smokes this whole theory away. i have had enough arguments and rows with some of my friends who smoke.Many presume smoking to be cool but whats cool now is going to affect you in the long run. May be its hard to quit but if you really want to you sure can quit! why ruin something good and intact given to u?

#SPITTING ON THE ROAD:-its simply yuck!!! its the most annoying thing for me. i just hate to write about it because i am forced to run through instances of me encountering people spitting on the road(especially the ones who chew paan!)in my mind...so lets this out because it makes me want to puke and yeah to sum it up i hate people who spit on the roads... Dirty!!

#PROMISE BREAKERS:- If you cant keep up to your word dont you give it away because its the basis on which people place a trust on you and when the word is not kept the trust is eventually broken! trust is the ultimatum of any relationship and there is no point whatsoever when it is broken!!

#SELFISHNESS:- Think about yourself!good!but when you tend to overdo it you become selfish...Every human being does it some point or other but let it not imbibe in you as you are not what you are if not for the people around you!!keep in mind others as well!!!

#POSSESSIVNESS:- this term is used to determine the degree of love a person has for someone but i think this many a times invades ones space there are a million other ways where you can show your love not essential that you have to be a possessive person to express your love. if the person concerened accepts your way of showin love then good for you but if he or she doesnt then its high time you work hard to learn to give them their space placing trust upon them!they might love you more for being understanding and not invading in their space!

#DESPERATE PEOPLE:- there are various number of people craving for something or the other some for money, attention, love etc...you dont have to be desperate..keep in mind everything is going to happen in the right time and if something has to happen it will definately happen .instead of craving and brooding for somethin you might as well take the right measure to work on it see what you can do about it if there is nothing you can do about then just move on...brooding and craving makes you look more like a loser!!!

#HANGING UP THE PHONE ON ME:- HULLO!!!AM STILL TALKING!!you cant let me go without actually allowing me to complete what am about to say...irritates me like hell!!and if you hang up the phone on me it does not mean you are right and i am wrong... hmph!!!

#HYPOCRITES:-Preach only what you can practice!!if not just shut up!!you ll gain respect if you live upto your standards and principles but if you go around bragging about principles that you hardly follow then you are only making big fool out of yourself!!

#TAKING PEOPLE FOR GRANTED:-the pain of it would be understood only when someone does that upon you this more an advice to people who are being taken for granted ,Never make someone a priority in your life when your only an option in theirs and people treat you the you let them treat you(valuble advice given to me by sowmi)!!put your foot down if you think you are not being treated upto your expectations!!

#COMPLAINING:- this is one of my oldest turn off which i think began since schooling days where there would be a geek next to me who would be meticulous in everything he or she did and would complain about me to the teacher for he or she would shine bright in elation and i would get my teachers piece of mind for i was a very bad student!!!hate you geeks!!!seems funny now though...not so funny when i come across someone like this in college!!!hate you still!!

#SARCASM:- say it out straight rather then sucking the soul out of the person!!seriously sarcasm literally does that!!the person who you are being sarcastic with could be worse than you if he gets the opportune moment!!sarcasm is nowhere close to the solution!!

#BAD LISTENERS:- hold on!!!you can talk after am done with mine!!!i feel like saying stop yapping n listen for once....most of the times bad listners make no sense of what they speak as well makin them good at nothing!!listening is as good as a skill as communicating. costs nothing but a moment of your time and a little of your patience!!

#JEALOUSY:- if its good compliment!!you ll be loved for it... dont burn with jealousy for its going to take you nowhere ...you end up throwin yourself in a bad light...think good and be good!everybody gets what they deserve so your jealousy is going to spoil only your peace!!

#HARSH WORDS:- think twice before you act or speak..your anger cannot hurt another persons feeling...leaves lasting impressions on the affected person and the relationship itself...

#SHOW OFFS:- ok you have it now what!??stop bragging and boasting.!modesty always takes you to places...your efficiency need not be proven by your words but by your actions!

so well, these are certain traits among people which i cant bear to see it was actually good venting it all out...its a hard thing to encounter this i defiantely wont get used to any of it i simply cant!!!all i can do is vent n ya i did it!Try hard not to turn someone off!!

TO THE DANCER

The D day for one of my closest and oldest friend, I know this lass since the day I remember, has played an integral role in my life, ask anyone you know and they would identify her as “Oh!!Gayathri???the dancer???”Yeah, such was her identity…she is indeed the greatest dancers who would surely make it big in the days to come by. As long as I remember she has been showing a great interest in dance, for she was enrolled in her dance class at the tender age of five, a master in all the nuances and intricacies of "bharatnatyam",she is just so professional. With a profound interest in the art she has the fire and passion beneath that ever giggly and charming face.

Her “arangetram” was something I longed to see the most, for the talent and interest she possesses she should have done it like ages back but this girl took all the time to become a master in it and she really did prove herself today. She is blessed with such innate grace and elegance that it was such a beauiful experience watching her perform .She sizzled, made the audience smile, left them with Goosebumps, carried them away with her beautiful expressions, such emotions my god.!!!takes you to another world….

Since we were in the same class I have seen her performing a numerous times, but the first time she left me stunned was during a performance at a temple simply amazing she was it was a number which expressed Lord Shivas moods of peace and anger ,she danced so well that people who were praying left their prayers mid way to watch the performance, the whole temple witnessed her dance with such rapturous attention and that day I knew she would surely create ripples with this profound talent of hers. That performance is still etched in my heart.

Today was the most awaited day, the day she proved her true mettle and was rewarded for the same, the day she made her parents so proud of her, the day she captured all the attention,the day she left us all awestruck,and the day she grew up as the most beautiful dancer who has a very bright future!!!!gayu ma your dedication and practice has been given you more than you can ask for!!your such an inspiration!!!!All the very best dear!!!!CONGRATS on todays heart warming performance!!!!Commendable!!!!Waiting to see a lot more from you!!!Way to go girl!!!Am soooo proud of you!!!

A PEEP FROM THE COCOON

A couple of weeks back one of my favorite lecturers at college was furious on us for being very irresponsible and she was giving us her peace of her mind when she said “Girls your secure in a cocoon, You just don’t know the outside world” This struck me hard and put me through a lot of introspection, as a sensitive person even the slightest deviation from the normal affects me a lot, I realized how much this sensitivity would influence my sphere of happiness me in the long run.
I thought about what kind of heaven I am in and that’s when I realized I have more than I can actually ask for, parents who toil hard to see me high in life, a sweet brother with bounteous affection, and most of all my own dear friends who stand by me no matter what!! Now you would be wondering “what’s there in it to rant about so much??its something everyone has!!”,there is!!,this is more than what you actually need, just that ,at times we fail to see what’s there so close to us and seek for happiness and joy elsewhere, may be it would take a lot of time among many of us to get the right sense of this because as my madam said we are in a cocoon and we have never ventured outside the real world filled with, what not?!
The recent flick "Slum dog Millionaire" is a perfect example, take the three little kids who fall a wrath to the societies malicious face, and take us how care free and happy we were when we were little kids ,don’t you think we need to be grateful for what we have now?? There are loads of little children whose parents sell them for a meager 20,000Rs,who are being sold to pimps by their own relatives, who are being sent to beg on the streets for their mere existence, who have never stepped into a school, who sleep every night without a roof on top of their head, who wake up every morning happy that they are still alive,and a lot more. Next time you go too a restaurant see the little kid who cleans your table, where are his dreams and where is he?
It would take a really long time to change the conditions of the deprived thousands meanwhile we can take a time for ourselves to feel lucky for what we have. Be thankful to the people around us, who live to see us happy. It doesn’t mean we lead a very happy go lucky life! I agree we do have enough problems in our kit but we have something that all these kids don’t have-love, warmth and security, given by those who built the cocoon around us. Even if one of this at loss our lives would become haywire, hard to even imagine. Just be thankful for what we have, for today’s world is at the loss of gratitude!!!grateful to you people!!!love!!!

NEED TO FILL..

Am so irregular when it comes to blogging,not that am busy all day just that am too lazy or yeah i would most of the time be so pre-occupied ,dreaming!!!At the dawn of this year i decided to put up four posts a month which means a-post-a-week but only now i realised its the last day of this month and i have put just one post lecturing about not to use sms language while blogging,hope the post after this does not serve a long break like this one did....No use rambling about my inconsistent writing and that am not making use of the web which has provided me with an exclusive page,to vent out all that i have...n meanwhile there have been quiet a number of people who gave me some valuble compliments (thanks for the encouragement) and a little bit of negative comments(not that i have very little flaws just that those who have given their valuble comments were being sweet enough to encourage the flaws off me) though i dont write much i constantly follow others blog,some of friends and others just random and to all you people thank you for sharing your precious knowledge,trivia,ideas,feelings, n more.....again i hope to keep up my word of writing regularly...thats all for now....this makes it two posts a month now!!happy writing!!!!

Not so cool!!!

Off late I have been into blogging, of course not posting much but reading what others have to say. Awesome I must say. There are so many things I have learnt from reading others blog. This is a good trend and I am proud to be a part of it, but even as I am writing this post am unable to avoid this so called SMS language. You have short forms for anything and everything. All my previous posts in this blog is enriched with the SMS lingo, after writing each and every post (I talk as if I write ten posts a day!!! Please don’t mind!!!) I show it to my mom and dad, trust me they could not understand one bit of what I tried to say!!! That’s when I thought well I need to change big time!!!

I recently came across my friends post where she too has mentioned about this hard-to-let-go habit, usage of SMS lingo…oops sorry “language”….before I go any further I would like to halt here for a moment and convey to the readers that I have scrolled this very page which so far consist of merely five or six lines, nearly ten times to check if I have been using the short and sweet way of expressing stuff, and yes I have! For nearly every word so far I have been missing out “G’S” in words like blogging, reading, writing, anything, everything, using etc. etc.!!! sorry dear”G”. It’s not just with “G”. It holds good for words like “have”, “because” and “and” which are very precisely denoted as “ve” “cos” and “n” respectively! It’s still difficult, more than “difficult”, the word “challenging” would be apt!! Indeed a challenge!!

This shows how much we wreck the beautiful language…the blood of Chaucer and Shakespeare would boil if they get to see the present trend of writing. Writing as far as I know is not what many have a flair for, those who, ought to essentially hold on with the ancient and proper style of writing with all the letters in the right place. It’s true that every blogger would not halt like me to scroll back to see if they are going on with the correct usage of language!!! When I began to write this post it was a challenge, now am quiet aware and I feel it’s not that hard! So face the challenge!!! let it not imbibe into your souls, language has it own beauty and editing words to our convenience only ruins it all the more!!!

There have been times where I used to miss out “G’s” and use “N’s” instead of “and” in my exam papers…shame on a literature student! So now I have decided to change, write things in the proper way without imposing any harm to the language! This is not applicable during conversations through instant messenger or SMS (cummon!!tht wud be soooo diffclt!!!). I have taken lots of pains to write this little post just to convey that this new way of writing is definately not so cool!! Bloggers, try hard not to brutally murder the language in your blogs!!! Happy writing!!!

 

 

Bye Bye 2008

Before i bid gud bye....this year had memories ll never ever forget in my life...here are some:

JAN:had a nice outing wid twelfth frens,had d best of tyms wid ...,yearned to tok to ashy...missed her so much!!!!

FEB:he he spoke to her!!!suprised her on her b day n v eventually started speakin...one of d happiest months of d year...credits ;sow,sid,ram,pal,vivi,kev,gayu,n of course ashy...knew hw much they cared for me!!!feb....had romance in d air n in my life!!!

MAR:my happy birthday!!!luuuuv my frens...wonderful day wid suprises for every three hours or so....got ma first mp 3 player....bros gift...luv him 2!!!again best tyms wid....

APRIL n MAY:most memorable...sows visits to chennai...d outin, d fun, d fights.....had d best of tyms...became more close wid her....an adorable person!!!

JUNE:fun wid col frens shwe n jas my best best frens frm col....me d class rep...toward a lil bit of responsibility...missin him...

JULY:somethin is wrong hmm...

AUGUST:rudest shock!!!plunged into misery!!things like SCRAMBLER(ws in d editorial team of this department magazine),n d success of our creative interpretation lifted my spirits in gravest tyms of distress...

SEP:frens bought me bk to life....became vry close wid vivi....met a wonderful person named jeni...enrolled myself in a bharatnatym class....focussin my mind toward other interests..

OCT:i owe all my frens a lott empathetic,supportive n loads of concern...seriously no words to thnk u guys!!!love u alll!!

NOV:became a blogger....inspired by sowmi n jdev...meetin new ppl...caught up wid mid school frens....company keeps me occupied...thnks to niru, tony ,muthu, niaz, sharat, anu n bav love ya!.still hopin....met sanju like after a year...missin her!!!wish i went bk where v were lil kids not knowin wt worries n pain were...

DEC:in regular terms wid jenany n praveen..two other gems!!!gud frens r rare to cme across am loaded wid many !!!

lucky me...n ya am still hopin...hopin my dreams wishes n passions cmes true...love u all dear frens!!!u topped this year wid grateful memories....happy new year!!!

HALF A DAY WITHOUT ELECTRICITY....

Its sunday n ten in d mornin n am busy orkuttin ,when all of a sudden there is a power cut !!my first reaction wud be ,SHIT!!! cant this wait til i finish commentin for these pics?!?...hmph!!then once d U P S hurries me to switch it off wid its incessant beeps ,along with my brothers voice boomin across d hall sayin,"Sindhu switch off d comp NOW!!!!!"in a hurry i Alt+F4 everything,i switch off mains n i take a small walk inside the house...As i step outside the room,my grand mom whines cos she jus missed watchin her favourite serial ,i go past d tv n sad her to my bro who is busy wid his mobile tokin to someone seriously...leavin him alone i peep into my dads room who is havin short nap i let him rest,i jus give a quick a glance at ma neighbours house...gud so its not jus my place(mean me) n i go to my mom who is in d kitchen ...nw she is frettin cos d power cut has wrecked her cookin plans...i can c d half ground batter, n electric cooker emmitin no light..she just leaves everythin as it as n sits in d dinin chair....bro enters now n is frustrated cos d battery in his mobile has drained ...quiet contradictorily am bein yelled cos he claims that i drained his battery by playin quadra pop !As if i knew that there wud be a power cut ...Now this is gettin heights...he always vents his feelings on me...he....

             Ok back to power cut ...Dad wakes up cos it is too sultry to sleep in a room wid no fan...he is suprised to see all 3 of us in d dining table ....now that has been my dads wish !all of us sittin together n havin a meal ...v weren havin a meal although v were jus sittin together each pensive abt wat to do next ....So wt next....dad who is a lil elated to have all of us together starts tokin abt d importance of electricity...zzzz....i get a call YIPPEE!! i give a dirty look at my bro which says I-still-have-enough-charge-in-my-mob!!n he jus turns away..poor he...Its one of my frens she updates me of d fact tht there is no electricity at her place either ....v vent abt it for a while and then v go on wid our usual gossips abt who is goin out wid who... who broke up wid who...n how break ups ve become a trend...hw hurtful it is...how......

             ok again bk to power cut...i go on tokin wid her n many other frens who ve been callin me, conversations brimmin n bubblin wid interstin topics ...Although its a lil hard to tok wid full enthusiasm cos there is an eerie silence prevailin out there...so i jus contain myself n i go ahead wid d never endin stories...All of a sudden my mobile  lets out a beep indicatin me to put it for charge ...as if i wudn...1100 its jus tht i cant!!!pl don drain pl don drain ...i keep tellin this as if it ws some self hypnosis...but it is ruthless...it gives me three long beeps and it shows me a blank screen !god!! now i feel thoroughly dumb cud have saved some for later!!sheesh am snapped ties wid d entire world outside my house!!!

             i again get out of my room to c mom n grand mom makin a conventional meal without dependin on the electric cooker,grinder,or d mixie...Dad is engrossed in a book ,bro jus zoomed outta d house wid his bike (lucky guys!)there is no alternative left!!no comp,no mob,no mp3 ,no tv ..hold on may be i can read somethin!!i take a novel which i bought long bk but kept it the way it ws at d book stall...i read read n read till mom calls me to hav lunch....bro comes home by now all tire n weary ...v r in d table together havin our meal...dads long term wish is fulfilled...after lunch i again go back to read and i finsh d novel .....not bad my readin prowess r still intact...i don remeber the last time i finished a book in a couple of sittings...am driven to sleep n when i am up all i c is darkness which i saw when i ws asleep....

            i step outta d room after pushin n bumpin on to things ...i see a candle light flickerin again in todays most used room.. All of them again sittin n havin casual chats abt frens,work place, etc..i join in and v tok tok n tok all of a sudden i realise its been ages since i spoke to ppl at home like this...in spite of d heat n d damn mosquitoes, i did have a gud tym wid my family...v even spoke abt how less v ve been speakin off late ...hmm all cos v r a wrath to electricity...

           v decided to make it a point to talk on daily basis from ten to eleven...mom again served dinner for d day and v were amidst dinner when the power re gained....we all sighed a relief unanimously  n continued wid our meal....it suddenly striked me ...1100 needs to be charged ...dunno if it ws some kind of telepathy tht worked between me n my bro...together we bith headed straight to our respective mobile phones put them for charge and we impatiently switched them on to check out d new messages(of which we were flooded)...my fren who i last spoke to calls to update me again..."hey current vanditchu"!!sweet!!!then my plate still in hand mob in charge n in my ear i chew my food n simultaneously listen to her tokin....who on d other side is doin d same thing... 

          by the time i finish my meal grandmom is back to watch d last bit of her fav serial,mom again grindin d batter.dad tunin on to d radio for d days news,am  done talkin wid her n i go to bed...dawn n dusk pass by its now its ten pm me on orkut eatin my dinner simultaneously, bro wid his mob, dad listenin to AIR news,mom fidgettin wid d old mixie, gran mom cryin over d serial...now how much influence do edison n tesla have upon us???may be  v shud wait till d next power cut!!

           

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOWMI!!!

Sowmiya…a person very very close to ma heart…she is simply more than a fren to me...if not for her I really dunno if I wud be wat I am now….this lass has been there throughout all d gud n bad times of ma life…life has become more meaningful n ll continue to be cos of the difference she has embarked in my life…so this is a dedication as to how much I value her n cherish d moments v spent together…d lil things she did turned out to be great things which went straight into ma heart…..this is a post jus for u guys to know how special she is to me…
I was a very reserved person in ma high school n was at d loss of frens to who I cud turn up to ,have fun,share a jibe, hang out , most of al share my feelings wid…perhaps my anxiety concernin this was apparent to one of our common frens gayathri n she in introduced me to sowmiya …life changed a lot since then..i instantly liked for her dimply smile,bubbly toks, n down to earth warm attitude…I ve never vibed so well wid anyone but sow in such a short span…she used to invite me to her class for lunch… n i had those best times of school life back then….through her I began to move wid d most wonderful ppl on earth…it was new for someone who never spoke up there were alws a gang of frens ready to listen to ma woes ….d best thing in ma school life was d snacks n lunch breaks cos at d stroke of d bell I wud rush to XII-I…at school sow n me had fun hanged out but we weren’t al dat close…she had to go to Mumbai since she decided to pursue her C.A there…so durin april n may v guys made u use of al d tym to hang out …times at shuttle court,Gandhi park, creamy inn, fruit shop,etc etc r d best unforgettable moments for al of us…sow played an integral role in this cos she was d one who got us al together laid out d plans n made sure everyone were there….she was so meticulous in such things….even back at school she was an ideal student no wonder she was d subject topper for accounts ……..
Once she left to Mumbai I tot ll be losin one wonderful person in life…but here sowmi proved me wrong!!!she made it a point to call me every week…it wasn jus me she did dat to al our frens who missed her badly…this gesture of stayin in touch despite d distance showed me how much she valued our frenship…over d time myself n sowmi bcame very close n am so proud to have a fren like her!!! As a person ve seen her growin …she has reduced her temper a gr8 deal…she has learnt to accept things d way they r…which al takes her from d good to d best…an epitome of perfectness n responsibility…
The bond tht me n sowmi share is d most priced n valuble…she has donned different roles jus when I need her she has been my best fren,confidant,philosopher n guide…I can turn onto her for any kinda advice,help,solace,doubt etc…she has alws been there for me…(except durin her kadalai sessions;))..d most remarkable aspect of her character is she is sooo empathetic….she exactly undergoes d pain or happiness which u tell her…she cries wid ya laughs wid ya n definitely means all those…now this is something ve never seen in anyone before n dats wat drove me closer to her n that’s d reason y I make it a point to tell sowmi anythin tht happens in ma life in d very first place…she has immense maturity, understandin n a no nonsense attitude!!!
She was d one who helped me take many decisions in life she is more like a personal diary to me…she is an awesome package of love ,care,share,sympathy,empathy,trust,understandin,maturity,warmth,sense of humour,spontenity,style ,attitude and a great respect for frenship…As far as I kno sowmi has been d responsible daughter,ideal student, trusty confidant, soothing solace, understandin u know wat, cool gal, n my best best fren!!!!
On this wonderful day I would like to wish her a very happy birthday wid gud health n luck!!may god bless her wid al dat she wants n more…sowmi, u seriously made a difference in ma life…I am wat I am now cos of ur presence guidance,support n love…your d best sow…I cant imagine life without you…I wan u 2 be der wid me alws..be d same n never change…I owe you soooo much…ma best wishes love n warmth to my darling sowmi!!!u deserve nothing less than d best!!!love ya loads sweety!!! n HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Note:Sowmi was d one who asked me to become a blogger,hence a dedication here else it wud be usually letters fom me to her…n sowmi, u certainly deserve more than jus a testimonial on orkut!!!luv ya!!

WHAT NEXT???

When i was in ma first grade my dad was fillin ma bio data form ,he called me n asked wat i wanted to become when i grow up? like now n always i was clueless abt it n simply said dunno...my dad tot for a while n wrote "a good citizen" i jus tot to myself n was anxious cos i had to answer him d next year...days n months rolled by n came d next year where i used to adore my class teacher so when this question cropped up i replied- teacher...then d followin year i fell sick quiet often n i used to have regular check ups at d hospital n became familiar wid medicines, injections etc n i din have second tots of becomin a doctor....that aim stayed awhile in my mind cos i was constantly exposed to hospitals....somewhere in ma sixth grade i watched a movie where d protagonist was a lawyer n he was so charismatic n eloquent n i made up ma mind to becom a lawyer then 3 yrs later i came across shiv kheras book-freedom is not free...it highlighted the corrupt bureaucracy n my conscience said it was not right to play d blame game so i decided to get into civil service therby servin d nation ...it was not jus this to take up d civil service exams d only eligibility is a degree ANY degree n i was no good at d sciences although my parents were keen on puttin me into some professional course ...i used to fair well only in english n thus i decided i wud do a major in it n take up the civil service after i complete d course...all was well n i even challenged my frens sayin"na oru nal kandipa i a s ayi{;)} katren they burst into peals of laughter!!!then came home a magazine which bought out d fact that it was so difficult to crack the exam n only 500 outta 500000 were successful i a s officers....hmm my confidence tumbled down readin it that was it there i stopped braggin abt becomin an i a s officer ..now am in ma second year i recently came to know abt human resource n public relations so am aimin a career in it shud i do a mba?? or am pretty good at english so if i remain thinkin like this for few more years i would land up becomin a lecturer in my own college!! no no i don wan that its not wat i want!!!wat next is a question which everyone asks me...how do i make them understan that am not sure cos i dunno which next field is gonna woo me to change my mind....ya now c ma moms been yellin sayin -ur always in front of d comp think of ur future instead of wastin time WAT NEXT!?!? n al this while ve been lamentin abt ma sad state....

ON WRITIN A BLOG...

This is ma first ever blog ...hmmm well wats a blog??k let me tell u how all this began the first time i encounter this four letter word is in an article ,exclusively dedicated to this on readers digest (dated ages back) in fact i remember skippin that article n goin on wid one of ma favourite magazines... few months back i came to know d big shots of bollywood n elsewhere pourin in their emotions on their blogs..(readin filmy magazines always helped)...now this aroused my interest... once i chanced upon ma cousins blog(a series of very interestin entries with a tinge of humor n sarcasm which one wud love to ponder upon )and it resulted in a conversation between me n my close fren sow...she suggested sayin that i should definately become a blogger n i decided to go check wat it is exactly....before that i had to undergo the series of usual procedures of typin out ma name mail address n a twisted confusin word(meant to confuse u)n thus i ended up here typin this text out..so this must be it ...A BLOG...Whoa!!! so my first entry is done...whereas all this while i had been broodin upon wat to write on ma first blog...